Ten deadlocks where two people want incompatible things. For each one: work out what each of them actually needs, then pick the arrangement that meets both. Nothing to write, no signup.
Built on positions-versus-interests — the idea that people argue over positions while needing something underneath them — from Fisher & Ury's Getting to Yes. Every situation here is invented.
What's inside
Christmas — He wants to go to his parents'. She wants to go to hers.
The holiday — He wants a city. She wants a beach. The obvious answer is half and half.
The chores — She wants him to do more around the house. He says he does plenty. Both are keeping score in different currencies.
The €400 purchase — He objects. They can comfortably afford it, and she says so. He still objects.
"I don't want advice" — A friend describes a bad week. You offer three suggestions. They go flat.
Her work party — She wants him there. He hates these things. "It's only two hours."
His mother moving in — She needs care. He wants her with them. His partner is dreading it and feels she isn't allowed to say so.
A third project — Your manager asks you to take it on. You're already at capacity. "No" isn't really available.
Evenings — She wants more evenings together. He wants more alone. Both feel guilty about it.